Tuesday, January 31, 2012


Thanks to my week off for Zometa sickness and my super-limited allowed typing time, I've piled up enough unanswered correspondence (phone and email, mostly) so that I feel paralyzed by guilt, and respond by eating snacks and staring at walls rather than being productive. I don't get what it is about the brain that makes it think "I have too much to do, so I'm going to take swift action! Time to freeze up and be totally overwhelmed." Gah.

Anyway, here's what is up with me lately:
  • Zometa was indescribably bad. I spent a few days barely able to move. I'm still waking up with back pain. Low side effect drug my butt.
  • I'm seeing a physiotherapist for post-surgery care of my arms. The bad news is that my right arm isn't healing quickly enough. A probable culprit is the slow drainage of fluid from my elbow, because I have, y'know, zero lymph nodes in my armpit.
  • This is frustrating. I'm not allowed to draw, and my left arm is having trouble picking up the slack. I miss my online friends (irc holla). I'm still not working and I'm having a hard time with this.
  • Good news: I got my silicone external breast prosthesis, finally. And six gorgeous mastectomy bras to tuck it into, all courtesy my insurance. My f'boob (Hester) is comfortable. My clothes fit better, too.
  • I went to three (!) social events on the weekend. I survived, I didn't pass out, and I was only a little tired. Man, do I know some good people.
  • I'm feeling discouraged sometimes, but I'm also getting better at hauling myself out of discouraged moments. I go for walks, drink hot drinks, and relax more than I used to. I would pat myself on the back if I were allowed to bend my arms more than 90 degrees.
I'm in an awkward limbo. It's frustrating, but it's not horrible. I mean, there's horrible, and then there's Zometa horrible.