Sunday, July 6, 2014

Still alive

I've been thinking that I should update this blog in case people who didn't know me in person were reading it, and, uh, imagining the worst. So, hi! I'm now 3 years and 9 months from diagnosis.

Things are still scary. I was in the ER a couple of months ago with a sore back, and my oncologist frustrated by the slow pace of my diagnosis, ordered the attending doc to get me an MRI right away because I'm "at high risk of recurrence". I'm still on maintenance drugs, one of which is really, really rough. I'm still having nightmares because of hot flashes. I still have so many scars.

Otherwise, my life is SO GOOD. I don't know how things will pan out, but I've had years of happiness and fulfilling work since treatment, and I know that this makes me lucky. When I was lying in surgical recovery, or feeling so dizzy from chemo, I felt like I couldn't let myself imagine having this much time ahead of me. It hurt too much. But now I've had that time and spent the hell out of it, and it's been so rich, and cancer can't ever take that away from me.