Tuesday, October 18, 2011


My oncologist confirmed that I seem to be doing fine so far. Then she gave me a choice.

She offered me a drug called lupron. It suppresses the ovaries and therefore may reduce the spread of breast cancer that's driven by hormones. My oncologist was very clear: studies are pending. Adding lupron to breast cancer treatment is standard in Europe, but not in the US. If my cancer were a little more vicious, she would have pushed it more, but she honestly couldn't decide with me. So, to lupron or not to lupron?

-menopause-like symptoms
-pain, moodiness
-loss of bone density
-heart disease risk
-cognitive difficulties

-my chemo didn't work well, so lupron might help me stay alive.

My dad and I had a long talk about it. He jumped on the cognitive difficulties side effect, just like I did; when I heard that I might have trouble thinking, I felt pretty upset. I'm from a family of academics and nerds, so cognitive impairment really scares me.

Anyway, I'm going to do the lupron. But I'm not happy about it; I'm tired and angry and if anyone says something about how cancer is a life-changing and life-affirming journey I'm going to flail at them with my incredibly tiny fists.